Last e-mail

Dear followers and likers,

Forgive me for I have sinned, it has been almost 2 weeks (or longer) since my last blog post. To make up for the lack of action, I have quite the make up posts for you. These next 3 should keep you on your toes for awhile. Here is the full story,  a one sided love story…

“I honestly don’t think we’ll get back together, ever.”

If you haven’t been following along with, “about me” and “relationship dont’s” then you’ll need to click back, but if you have, read on…

This came in an e-mail entitled “Last e-mail” and of course was not the answer I wanted, but it was the answer I needed to hear. And for that I’m so grateful to him for sharing his thoughts and feelings. I can now move on. But to fully and completely leave this situation on a positive note and to understand why this man was, and will always be remembered as, a great man and an important part of my growth to become a better human being, I have to soothe the child within me that’s yearning to be heard. She needs to hear these words from the lady she’s become…

Dear Child…

Just a Little Yoga in NYC’s East Village the Day Before Hurricane Sandy

I booked it out of NYC right before hurricane Sandy barreled into Manhattan. I actually didn’t know Sandy was on her way until my friends informed me about the possibility of bus cancelations..haha. So In the wake of the storm we went to the dog park and after watching some dogs romp, I did this…

The Calm Before the Storm

While people were hustling and bustling around NYC to prepare for the storm…I pulled out my yoga mat. Now that I can do a headstand (as of August 2012) my goal is to do this everywhere I go. The only hard part, I’m a pretty forget full person at times, and I leave things everywhere. In this case, on the bus up to NYC I almost left my yoga mat, EVEN THOUGH 1 minute before we pulled in to Manhattan I told myself NOT to forget, I still did. Of course. Thank goodness a nice man tapped on the window to tell me. I would have been pretty sad, I’m pretty attached to my recycled rubber mat. Crisis averted.

So instead of trying to recap my NYC excursion, I thought I’d publish the top 10 reasons why I love NYC:

NYC Knows What’s Up! Like I said, Art Everywhere 🙂

1. You can get anything ordered to your door, and I do mean ANYTHING.

2. Weird, eccentric and staring are normal and welcomed 

3. A brunch can turn into (and most often does) a 4 hour drinking session at a 3 story restaurant, which at 5pm turns into a club w/ a kick ass DJ, while the bottom floor (w/ bathrooms) still remains an upscale dining area with people eating dinner

4. Cabs are abundant and very reasonable (especially compared to Sydney)

5. There is always something interesting and entertaining happening and people watching is outstanding and encouraged 

6. No other city in the world, that I’ve been to, has that amount of energy and exciting vibe

7. I have spectacular friends that live in the best areas of the city and don’t mind me crashing on their couch. And a cousin who lives in Queens and promotes rock bands for Sony Music — there is never a dull moment around him

8. It’s normal to go out everyday of the week, which makes visiting any day of the week ideal

9. Central Park is huge, art is everywhere around the city, and spectacular restaurants everywhere

10. There’s something different to discover every day 

If you’re deciding on a visit to NYC, you will never be disappointed no matter what you’re looking for. NYC has it all, obviously. But they were struck pretty hard with hurricane Sandy. Some people are still without power and there were massive floods that left people homeless and out of work. So if you’d like to join the effort to help NYC and the surrounding area, especially New Jersey, donate to the Red Cross today. Nothing is too small. Anybody see the Bon Jovi benefit concert? He’s on top of it.

A House Goes Down in Flames and a Friendship Follows

“Hey
You’re crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I’m on top of it”

Oh Buck Cherry, your words are so…ummm…blunt. This song came to mind when thinking about how to jump into this post. Now that I have your attention, I’ll get down to the nitty gritty.

My friend, well sadly ex-friend now (according to her), has told me, “Never talk, call, email, Facebook or show your face at my house again”…I’ve never had a friend write such things to me even if we’re in an argument, and I’ve never really argued with a friend for more than a day. Now, this started as heated text messages (for those of you who read my last post, you may know I don’t express emotion well through online or text conversation when I’m in the moment)

Now, when she says her house, she really means my dad’s house, because she rents one of the two tenant houses on the property. It began when she left her clothes and hamper on top of the stove. The burner accidently turned on as she headed out to take her dogs to the vet. Luckily, she came home before heading to work, because she drove up to the house in flames. I didn’t find out until she texted me about it after the fact, and I spoke to my dad to get the details. The house needs to be completely redone, and there’s about 15-50 grand worth of damage. Luckily she has renters insurance and that will cover the costs…

The “fight” or heated texts, began when I told her she should give one of her pigs to my dad (as a joke) to cover the 1000 dollars renters deductible my dad thinks he has to pay. She has 2 pigs, chickens and 4-6 dogs (depending on if she’s fostering). I never meant to make her upset, or hurt her feelings, I was just trying to protect my dad and his costs (something i’ve been doing for the past 10 years when our family fell apart…more on this later).

I didn’t realize how distraught she was, or how bad the fire was, until I saw her later that evening. I thought we were all good and any animosity that may have surfaced during our text conversation, was gone when she left my Mom’s house. I offered her a place to stay and said she could keep her dogs downstairs, and said if she needed anything to let me know as I gave her a hug and said goodbye. But I guess she wasn’t over the text I sent earlier that day, and around 2pm I received a nasty text at work that sent chills down my back and did nothing but send me on the attack.

From there in went pretty much down hill as she said she was “excited” about getting all new stuff in the house and that she didn’t care about my “wealthy” dad. Now, word to the wise, I am super protective of my dad because he does not ever stand up for himself, and will let people walk all over him to avoid confrontation. I read my mom the text and she laughed at the thought of my dad as “wealthy”. Obviously, she doesn’t understand the debt he’s in with the property, and because he is a nice guy he hasn’t raised her rent in 4 years (from my understanding). It remains at $850 inclusive of utilities for a one bed, one bath, kitchen, “family room” and deck, with land use and obviously all those animals. You won’t be able to get cheaper in this area, confirmed by my friend who does real estate in the area and just rented A ROOM for $1000, and says she can get AT LEAST $1200 for the place, maybe $2000 depending on how much land can be used.

So these messages angered me, and of course I went on the attack to defend my dad. Afterward, I realized that I should not have handled it like I did, and instead should have talked to her in person from the beginning. I spoke to all my friends in the area, and even called some friends in Australia, to help me work out the problem. I read them the texts, and they where shocked by anyone saying they never wanted to speak to me again. Some recommended that I didn’t need a friend like that in my life  and some said to wait until we both cooled down to talk. I did. And contacted her recently, saying “Do you really never want to be my friend again?…Because I don’t want that. I’m home, lunch, mid day wine, talk?” No response.

So I guess it’s officially over. There’s nothing I can do, and I don’t understand how someone could just end a relationship over text if we were really friends. Especially when we saw each other after the fact and she could have expressed her thoughts to me in person. I understand even better now how the one man I tried to impress felt when he got my crazy messages over text, he did the right thing by ignoring me…even though at the time it angered me even more.

I’m sad because I did like hanging out with her, I did consider her a good friend. I saw a mutual friend of ours recently, and he has been over her friendship for awhile, saying she never appreciates what she’s given and referred to her as a “cancer”. I thought that was harsh, but I definitely see why he gave up on her.

Anyway, I want to help her out, I want to be there for her, but I don’t want a friend who ends a relationship over text and can’t talk to me about how she’s feeling or how I made her feel. Friends get upset with eachother, that’s how relationships evolve, and true long lasting friends work through their differences. However, it takes two to tango.

One thing is for sure, I don’t want to feel awkward going to my own house. Hopefully, we can resolve our issues before her lease is up. Otherwise, I’d rather help out my childhood friend to get her realty business going and help my dad get at least $400 more a month for the cottage, especially now that everything is getting redone. Maybe then he can actually paint some fences and redo the barn, which he claims he never has any money to do. Oh “wealthy” dad, maybe one day you can actually make money off your property…

Relationship Don’ts – Warning: Facebook does NOT have a “Break” option

You may have read in “My world” post that I’m a hopeless romantic for one man, but trying not to be. There is a long story to this, which I will tell one of these days, because it’s a very very important story, but today I just want to share that about a month ago I learned what blocking someone from Facebook REALLY means.

Everything I’ve done in an attempt to “impress” this man and to show him how much I care for him (because I really think he’s an incredible person) has backfired in a bad way. I blame nobody but myself and I will be the first to admit that I am not good at showing how I really feel through online communication, nor am I good at understanding others feelings when I can’t read their body language. Most of the time, I’ll write something with out thinking how my words could be interpreted and it’s not until I press send that I think, “ohhhhh shit, what have I said.” Same thing goes for heated text messages and on occasion, phone messages. I’ve been known to PANIC and be unfiltered at times when I need to take a breath and walk away. This is partly due to growing up with anxiety and constantly struggling to manage PANIC thoughts and actions, and partly because I have always had a hard time holding back words when I want to say them or write them.

But this panic action, takes the cake. In an attempt to “take a break” from thinking about this man and in an attempt to STOP saying things when I shouldn’t, I blocked him from facebook back in March. I did this because I sent probably the worst message I’ve EVER written, to anyone, much less someone I care for deeply and want more than anything to make smile and not frustrate. I sent it after a chaotic mess in Colombia, another story to come, and still I’m not sure why…WHY I felt the need to share these emotions and make him feel like he did something wrong. It was beyond crazy. BEYOND!

So when I reached the states, I blocked him because I felt awful, and felt everything that I tried to accomplish when we were seeing each other before I left for my travels, was gone in one message. But before I pressed the block button, I swear I researched what blocking meant. And I am not the first one I’ve talked with who said when you block someone you are able to unblock them and then become friends again…without having to re-friend the person. “This is great” I thought. The last thing I wanted to do was say more stupid things i’d regret while he was traveling, so I did. I pushed that button. Once I told my friends, they thought I was crazy and thought that he’d think I hated him. “No no guys, it’s just a break. I’ll unblock him once he’s back in the states, and once I get a handle on my communication style”.

However, this is NOT THE CASE! And is the first of my “Relationship Don’ts” suggestions. Once you unblock someone, they are no longer your friend and you have to re-friend the person. GREAT! So now, not only have I continuously sent crazy messages to this man, but I have now de friended him from Facebook. The ultimate diss. Who does that?!

I do I guess. And when I found out a month ago from my friend what BLOCKING really was, I was distraught. So I tested it out, and sure enough, he was no longer my friend. FAIL, major FAIL! I’ve waited for awhile before I’ve gotten the courage to re-friend him. And yesterday I finally did. As I wrote a message in broken spanish my palms sweat and my heart raced. But the reason why I am finally ready to re-friend him, is because I’ve taken all expectations away.

I made this lumpy, uncomfortable, lonely bed, and now I have to sleep in it. I don’t expect him to talk to me, I don’t expect him to accept my friendship, and I don’t expect to see him again. But I hope, and I dream that I will.  Literally, if I don’t have some sort of communication with him, my subconscious takes over, and anxiety sets in. I wish it weren’t the case, believe me I do, but I’ve realized I can’t help it. A few nights ago I had a dream about him…(my computer was stolen with all my travel pictures that I haven’t downloaded yet, he was there calming me down and telling me to breath and think rationally).

So anyway, I don’t know when or if I’ll hear from him. But it was starting to make me unhappy to think I wasn’t friends with him on facebook (even though before I freaked out at the word friend). There is no rush for me, because I know these feelings I have for him, well they are very very VERY strong. And the fact that my palms sweat and my heart races from just seeing a picture of him? After all this time? Ummm that’s…that’s really all I need to know.

And though i’m not completely ready to post my story about him, I just wanted to get these thoughts out before they came out in another way. I’m learning to avoid PANIC. Now that I have this space to write and press send, I hope this is a turning point. Not to mention if I don’t like what I write here, I can always go back and edit. Too bad that’s not the case for emails, facebook or phone messages!

Want to know how I made it to the World Bank?- From Networking to the First Interview Part 1

The networking event that changed it all…

ROLLINS! My university in Florida had its first networking event in late June. Now, this wasn’t the typical networking event I’ve been to in the past. I’ve been sticking to nonprofit events where the crowd is, um a bit different than the Rollins crowd. Google Rollins College, and you’ll see what I mean.

I met my college friend at the event. She’s now attending law school at American University and the job she has now she got through her university, typical. When I told friends who’d never been out of the country that I was going to attend grad school in Sydney, a typical response was, “How are you going to get a job later? How are you going to make connections?” I of course proved them wrong. But, no doubt, there is a huge advantage for getting a job in D.C when you attend university in D.C. Many jobs aren’t published for the general public but are posted on university sites. Professors in D.C also have a huge pull in D.C. Sadly Americans trust national universities more than outside universities – unless you have Oxford stamped on your resume.

But I never wanted my life to be about what I needed to do to get a job later. Though this didn’t stop me from gaining internship experiences starting my second year of college, this was because I wanted to learn and stay busy – and because I wanted to stand out. Americans (I say this like I’m not one haha) typically live their life to get a job, because the competition is tough, and our culture almost demands it…work hard, get a good job, make money, buy things, COMPETE! Climbing the latter of “success” is never how I wanted to live my life, I knew from a very young age this wasn’t what gets you true happiness. I live to learn and to grow, to meet interesting people, to view the world from different lenses, to have unique experiences, to be anything but ordinary, to challenge myself, and of course to one day have a family, to be a strong partner for my other half and educate my children.

Like I said, if you can network, have a good resume to start, and are positive and persistent, the graduate school you went to shouldn’t be a factor.

Anyway, upon walking into this event, I could already tell I was in with the moneymakers –lots of lawyers, Tobacco lobbyists (yikes!), and people working as staff members for governors. My mom, who was a graduate of Rollins in…uhh the 60’s?…also came along. She scoped the scene for me while I made conversation with a couple of lawyers. The event was great fun, but I didn’t think I would make any solid connections that could lead me to where I wanted to go. The typical thing happened, a couple conversations with interesting people, a cocky guy tried to hit on me, and lots of blondes in high power heels (Rollins typical).

BUT then I met the girl that would kick start my D.C experience. It was a good thing I entertained the guy who was hitting on me (TALK TO EVERYONE), because she was his friend. She was the last person I talked to before leaving. I recognized her from campus way back when, but couldn’t put her face to a name,

“So what do you do in D.C”…I enquired.

“I work for the World Bank”….

SPOTTED!

She worked in corporate communications for the Bank. I took down her info once I told her my experience and expressed that was THE PLACE I wanted to work. We stayed in touch throughout my search, aka, I started to build a relationship with her. I found her on linkedin, emailed her almost every week about tips and inside scoops and I emailed her my resume and cover letter on day one.

About the time when I was about to throw up my hands and move because I just could NOT apply for one more job online, I got an e-mail about the position I’m in now. She forwarded my resume to GPE when she switched over to this job from corporate communications, and here I am.

Stay tuned for the interview…

Wine, Cheese, and a little Spanish.

Last Thursday the office had a going away for a guy who was leaving to go work in Africa, he was tall and French with narrow black glasses. I never formally introduced myself, but the speeches and personal stories painted a glowing picture of how nice, smart and hardworking he was.

To send him off in style, the conference room was filled with wine and cheese, and a giant carrot cake, his favorite! I’m lactose intolerant, but when put in front of 3 plates of 8 different kinds of cheeses, I can’t resist.   I also took full advantage of the grapes, crackers and strawberries, but I did avoid the carrot cake!

I was glad to get the chance to talk with the other staff working on different projects, like our education programs and the global good practices team. Something I wouldn’t normally get to do on the average day. I met a woman who joined one of the teams a month ago, but had been working for the World Bank for 20 years. She said, “Even after 20 years, I still love working for the Bank. I’ve been all over the world with my work with them, and I love their mission to alleviate poverty.”

We began to discuss how I got here (a story I still have to write), but the jist was that it took a lot of persistence, follow up and a positive outlook. And NETWORKING! “It seemed there were giant walls I couldn’t get over when I first arrived in D.C. but eventually I got here!” She was glad to hear it was still possible to get beyond the walls even without having any connections or having gone to grad school in D.C.

Later, I started talking with our Program Assistant whose from Guatemala, and soon realized there was someone from Colombia and Mexico on the GPE team. My heaven! I absolutely love Latin Americans, they’re always so nice and warm. Not to mention, I am determined to learn Spanish and they want me to practice with them! Wooo hoo!

Turns out I’m not the only one determined to learn Spanish. The head of GPE is also trying to learn, and has the Program Assistant only speaking Spanish to him so he can practice. I love it, he’s proof you’re never too old to learn another language!

So now that I’m surrounded by Spanish speakers, I have a pledge to make to myself (much like the 500 million dollar pledge GPE made last night at the global poverty project concert in NYC) and that is to PRACTICE and practice as much as I can. This means when I get home from work to spend 30-60 min using my Rosetta Stone and on the weekends. By the end of this year, I want to write a blog post in Spanish!

AND, now that I’m starting to get in a routine with work, it’s time to buckle down on my work outs. This means to continue my hot yoga routine, but add cycle and running into the mix. This week I want to go to a 5:45 am spin class 2x this week.

It all begins tomorrow, TOMORROW TOMORROW, is only a dayyyyyyy awayyyyyy 🙂 Stay tuned followers, aka Nikki Fiedler.

I got a job with the WORLD BANK GROUP! Making dreams a reality.

My Golden Ticket

Well, I did it. I made the dream happen. Everyone told me it was competitive, that it would take forever, to set my standards lower, to take what I could get…yadda yadda yadda. BUT here’s the news, I made it to the World Bank Group! The group is one of THE MOST competitive places to be in D.C. And a HUGE step into the International Development arena. Actually, the best step you can take, I mean, it’s the WORLD BANK, the largest international development organization in the world, which includes the IMF. To have this on your resume, and to get connected into this World, well it’s the ACP magazines of D.C (if we were to compare the Magazine World to the International Development World and Sydney to D.C – apples and oranges). But IT’S HUGE! And filled with intellectuals who have global knowledge, and yearn to learn. I’ve had the World Bank on my radar since 2010, when I stepped into a Global Leadership Seminar (but more on that later).

Many people may think this organization is corrupt or bureaucratic, and to be honest, it is definitely bureaucratic. Even the people working there acknowledge that, because they have a set of rules all their projects have to follow. But corrupt, I wouldn’t say that. Maybe the governments they lend to, or the organizations that bid on projects they fund. The Group does so much good, it’s better to concentrate on all they do, vs. some projects that may benefit the investors more than the people living there.

Anyway, later i’ll write about the interview and what got me to this point, but for now, I wanted to share with my followers (because I have so many, ha!) that I got a position! I work in the Communications department as a Web/Communications Consultant, for the Global Partnership for Education.  We work with over 50 countries to get the world’s poorest and most marginalized children into school so they can fulfill their potential. A very gratifying initiative.

I signed my contract last Friday and began work on Monday. I just finished my first week and about to begin my second. The first week was great, I really couldn’t have asked for better. The people I work with are smart, all of them with M.A degrees and most of them speak at least a second language. I love the environment because it inspires me to learn, and in my position (which currently is temporary till the end of June) I can create my own job. Sure I have the things that need to be done, but they give me the flexibility to create my own job. Who doesn’t want that? I want to create a position for myself, so at the end of the fiscal year, they won’t want to get rid of me!

There are a lot of Spanish in the building, including our Communications Assistant and the Program Assistant. Of course, lovely lovely people! So it’s great, because I can eventually practice my spanish with them. And Friday I noticed a bottle of Tequila in the fridge, oh I can already tell i’m going to love it here. AND there are Aussies on the team, so I feel right at home 🙂

The best part of the job, they care about learning, and how you learn. The Communications Officer asked me how I learned, as he was teaching me a new software. And the International Affairs Director, also asked me “what do you want to learn while you’re here?” I love that!

So cheers to the good news! And a special thank you to all those friends who kept me smiling while I was down in the dumps. When I felt I wasn’t good enough to compete with the talent in this city, and when I wanted to give up and move to Central/South America. Which, of course wouldn’t be the worst idea, but probably not the most financially sound move. Also, thank you to those who helped me edit my cover letter and resume, countless times. AND thank you to that special girl who passed on my resume (more on this later).

To all those still looking, don’t give up on what you really want! It may take a lot of time, and it may take you down roads you never knew existed to find something even better! But if you stay positive and persistent, and not let the negativity creep into your mind or daily routine, you’ll be sure to get there eventually. In the words of my friends, B-riz raz, and Matt Young, just keep swimming!

Create the opportunity for your dreams to come true, you never know what’s lurking around the corner for you. Whatever you do, DO NOT STOP BELIEVING!

Thanks for reading, and please leave a comment!

Oh and one more thing, a plug for my new job. Please check out our website, www.globalpartnership.org and PLEASE enter our photo/video competition to show how learning to read has changed your life. Could you really imagine a life without knowing how to read? It’s estimated 171 million people could be lifted out of poverty if they could read. So PLEASE help spread the word and enter a photo or video at www.readingchangedmylife.org. Let me know when you do so I can share your story!

Thank you, and don’t forget to comment!

Please enter our photo competition to win photo equipment, E-reader OR video equipment.

www.readingchangedmylife.org

Ever thought about fostering a Puppy? Yes, No, Maybe So? READ THIS POST!

Most people don’t think about how many puppies and dogs are left without good homes. Or think how many kill shelters there are who have no choice but to put lovable animals down before they get a chance at life. Literally, thousands of animals get put down everyday because shelters just don’t have enough room. Not a topic I like to think about on a daily basis! But here’s something to think about, fostering!

Have you ever thought about being a foster parent for dogs/puppies who need homes before they can be adopted out? My friend Meredith A. has! She has fostered over 50 dogs/puppies over the years and though this number isn’t cheap, she lives with the satisfaction of knowing her dollars and tender loving care save adorable lives. The best part, she’s able to give someone else happiness with an animal that otherwise would have been put to sleep. Does it get any better?

This past week, while Meredith A. works her 9-5 job with the town of Purcellville, I have been lucky enough babysit her foster puppy. He is 7 weeks old and is a Lab and Basset Hound mix. I’m in love and is actually helping me type, well trying. Now, if you’re anyone like me, one or two at a time is enough. However, if you’re a dog whisperer like Meredith A., then you probably can take on a little more. As I saw from our puppy pick up this weekend, Meredith A. and 2 other dog lovers she gets advice from, take on more than their share to save lives. We drove over the mountain to pick up 5 more puppies that were picked up from a West Virginia shelter by one of Meredith’s friends who makes the drive often in order to foster or pick up for other foster parents. She herself, has 9 dogs. Now that’s a commitment!

I was a little out of my comfort zone with so many puppies to handle, all different breeds and personalities, though all very lovable. Meredith A. however, held a big smile and opened her heart to their care. We drove back with a car full of puppies and crates, and later bathed them with dawn soap to kill all the flees (a little worrisome that what we wash our dishes with is the best remedy to kill flees). The next day she took 3 of the 5 puppies to another foster, leaving the other 2 for herself to care for while she finds them good homes. This is on top of the puppy I’m currently babysitting, oh and on top of the 4 she already owns, but like I said, she’s a dog whisperer.

The good thing is, you don’t need to be a dog whisperer to be a foster parent to a puppy or dog. All that’s required is a big heart and some extra cash. Or if you’re lucky, be the babysitter, and help find them a good home. And who knows, you may just want to forgo fostering and become their permanent mom or dad! I can say one thing, this puppy makes me happy, and everyone who glances at him happy! Could you ask for more?

So what are you waiting for? Get on Pet Finder today ! And find your new animal that makes you smile 🙂 But whatever you do, DO NOT purchase your puppy from a pet store or support puppy mills. FOSTER or ADOPT ADOPT ADOPT!

There are still so many of my friends out there with no homes. Please foster or adopt them. Can you really say no to this face?

D.C Networking – Interesting Encounters and Tips for Networking Success

You never really know who you’re going to meet at networking events. The people you talk with could lead you to your next job, or end up trying to date you. I thought I’d use this jammed packed post (with a side note about California vs. D.C living) to describe 3 encounters of people I met during a Wednesday YPNdc happy hour, followed with tips for a better networking experience – GET OUT THERE, TALK, BE POSITIVE, AND REMEMBER TO FOLLOW UP!

This will hopefully give you new hope if you’re in a job searching/networking slump, or give you a new outlook on the D.C job scene. Please join the conversation and give any tips as you see fit. Sharing knowledge is a powerful thing.

Be the person people gravitate towards!

Encounter #1

“Environmental Policy Guy – I want to live on a Commune” 

Tip: Pick a warm up, someone to get you in the talking mode. 

This for me was “Environmental Policy Guy” – He sat near the walkway of the bar, leaning on a stool. Blonde hair, no suite or tie, and sipping on a beer with an Orange. I was intrigued, and ready to see if I could get his disinterested face to smile! Our conversation went a little something like this…

“So do you come to these events often?” – I know what a creative line!

“No this is my first time, and I’m a little confused as to what is actually supposed to happen here. It seems we’re all here to network, yet none of us have jobs.” A valid point, though after he left I was able to gain 3 job leads.

“Ya, well a lot of people don’t, but you have to sift your way to the people who do. So where are you from?”

“California”- typical, the first guy I talk to is from California. “I graduated from the Monterrey Institute for International Studies with an M.A in Environmental Policy.”

The conversation continued as I saw how unique this person was (and a bit socially awkward), he told me he wasn’t sure if he liked this city.  He then went on to say he wanted to go live in the woods somewhere and be self-sufficient.

“I’m sorry, it’s so loud in here. Did you just say you want to go live alone in the woods?”

“I know! This is why I barely go out. I hate being blasted with pop culture hits telling us what to think and eliminating the possibility for real human interaction and intelligent thinking. It’s like they’re telling you not to think for yourself and listen to the music, while you buy drinks and conform to the norm. No no, not alone in the woods, like on a commune or something.”

Ok so, if I didn’t already know it, this guy was extreme, however, very intelligent and interesting.  I love meeting people out of the ordinary like this with different life experiences. I impressed him when I told him I lived on a farm, with chickens, pigs and horses. I could only claim the horses, though I did say I grew a garden (even though most of it has been eaten by rabbits, deer and groundhogs!) He SMILED! Mission accomplished.

Before he left I learned about the policy in Great Britain that ordered restaurant and grocery stores to poison the food they threw away everyday. After killing several people it was finally outlawed – can you believe this was the 90’s!?

Surprise! He has a blog, you can follow it here,

http://www.onsecondthought2007.blogspot.com

Encounter #2

“California Girl and Friend”

Tip: Make friends, connect with people like yourself, they may have good tips about the job search you haven’t thought of yet. 

Her name was Tanaaz. She was from L.A and graduated from San Diego State before moving to D.C. She said she’s living in a pretty dodgy side of town according to her, but her rent is $850 (which is the cheapest i’ve heard for living in the heart of the city) and probably the reason why she feels unsafe walking home at night. She clued me into an environmental fellowship job, and we discussed working at the World Bank, which is the top ranks in the international development world and everyone knows that working there opens a lot of doors. My dream!

Soon her friend (who moved to D.C from San Diego State as well) joined our conversation. Once the shock and awe of them both being in the same city, and the same networking event wore off, we discussed the D.C scene. We all seemed to come to the same conclusion, get in – work your ass off for initiatives important to you – and get out! This place is no place for balanced lifestyles (well West Coast/Australian version of balanced – my version). This is especially important to me because in the long run I’d rather be a good mom and a good wife over getting lost in a career and letting the other 2 slip. Of course people can manage all 3, but I think expectations for American woman are far too high these days. We’re expected to do it all, and a lot of times without family support, which inevitably leads to unhappy lifestyles (in my opinion).

Side Note: Interested in Southern California Living? How does it compare to D.C and Virginia?

I asked about L.A living, mentioning how I wanted to move West Coast (once my stint in D.C plays out). She talked about the traffic, the superficial people, and said how it’s a rarity to have conversations that mean much. Surprise! No, nothing I haven’t already heard, but everyone has a different story depending on who you talk to.

“What about the Spanish culture side of things?” I ask because my newly acquired Mexican friends in D.C say there are more Mexicans in L.A than Mexico City and I’m a big fan!

“Oh well if you’re going for that side of things then it’s fine. Actually, the cultural side of things is great, you’d probably enjoy it. But you did mention that you weren’t interested in people who put so much pride into materialistic possessions or who try to impress you with those possessions, and there is a lot of that in L.A.”

Obviously she hasn’t ventured too far out of the dodgy side of town she’s living in. Georgetown? Anyone been there? Georgetown and other areas near the Potomac river, were even too expensive for my Dad to buy into 20 years ago! Now they go for millions. From my impression, people here replace material possessions (though still prevalent) with Education status, who they’re connected to, and their career.

The Virginia valley, Loudoun County where I live, while a more relaxed scene than D.C, is the richest county in the U.S and is home to some pretty ‘status quo’ people. My family has been here since the 40’s when my grandfather bought a small farm house with over 40 acres to farm cattle. Since then, the county has rapidly expanded, and became one of the fastest growing and expensive counties in the U.S.

Here, we are not unfamiliar with big names and big bank accounts. The family who started B.E.T owns a farm here and contributed 3 million dollars to my k-8 grade school for a theater (the daughter graduated in my class) Who else? The Mars family (from the Mars Bars empire), the Firestones (Firestone tires) and the actor Robert Redfern, all live very close. Oh and the owner of the Redskins! Here, it’s all about land, local farming, wineries, and horses.

Anyone have any more tips about California living? L.A? Best places to visit? Beach scene? Or has anyone experienced the Virginia/D.C scene? Interesting people you encountered in the area?

Anyway, I digress. On to the end of my night.

Encounter #3

“The Hustler”

Tip: Never let anyone make you think you have to be anyone but yourself to get a job! (Unless you have a horrible personality which turns people off…then you may want to change some things).

Now that I’ve made my rounds and collected cards like they were candy, I offer my time to the less deserving.  Yes, the person who TRIED to kiss me before I ran for the hills, and his blabbering friend. Why talk to him? Well after a few glasses of wine, I just don’t care. As long as he refrains from hitting on me, everything should be fine.

His friend, bald and seemed to always spit when he spoke, tried to get me to start ‘hustling him’ (which I guess means offering him something in return for his information?) What was his information? Temp agencies! Yup that’s it. Umm no thank you, I’m good on that.

“I’m sorry what do you do again?”

He worked at an international publication performing editing work. I asked him if he traveled outside the country before, he said no, he’s from NJ and has only been to the East Coast of the U.S. Really? And you work for an international publication without any knowledge of the World outside the U.S?  That’s scary. I’m not exactly sure how the conversation went, but it was something like this…

“Blah blah blah…international travel…blah blah blah…global perspective….blah blah blah… M.A degrees, blah blah Australia, blah blah and some more BLAH…stop hustling and start gaining life experiences”

Guy who tried to kiss me, “Wow I’ve never seen you be so authoritative before.” Really? The guy only met me one other time…and it did not end well!

“Well, in a job interview you have to be very persistent and confident in your skills to do the job well and convince them to hire you”…Not to mention I’m not trying to get a job out of this person, and I know we’d never be friends, so why not say what I want to say?

Bald Guy, “Wow I can tell you’re smart!”

I seriously don’t even remember what I said, all I know is I said it with conviction. I’m not going to bow down to anyone for temp agencies, nor am I going to bow down to anyone for a job.

So get to steppin, and PLEASE stop spitting in my drink!!

Note: D.C is a POWERFUL city, full of VERY POWERFUL people that influence the global political agenda. The work ethic here can be ferocious. BE CONFIDENT, and BE STRONG when selling yourself.  Be prepared to embody these values to survive the job search if they don’t already come naturally. Also, it’s important to know your audience and to know when it’s important to make these qualities known. 

So What Can You Take Home From This Post? 

The night, overall, was a successful networking event. I came home with a couple job leads, and avoided any awkward moments. The take home for those who are not so keen to network and are still stuck solely applying for jobs online, GET OUT THERE! Not only is it a break from the daily grind of editing resumes and cover letters, and searching through every job site you know, but it’s also a way to make friends in a new city. Clue into how the city really works and what others are doing that may be successful for you.

My advice, slap on the dreaded name tag and start talking! Get peoples cards, and FOLLO UP. You can’t go wrong going to as many events as possible, but remember, don’t make it all about finding a job. Be the person people want to talk to. SMILE and exude positive energy, and don’t get frustrated if nothing comes out of it (hey at least you got happy hour deals and if you’re lucky, free food!). The point is to build relationships and continue those relationships throughout your time in the city. This takes awhile and requires A LOT of follow up chats! You never know who could lead you to that golden opportunity.

1. GET OUT THERE – Get yourself to networking events with people in the industry you want to break into

2. START TALKING- It’s not enough just to be there and wait for people to talk to you, go out and introduce yourself! Seek information. 

3. BE POSITIVE – I can’t stress this enough, you have to be positive. People can read your energy. If you’re in a bad mood, don’t go or get out of it fast!

4. FOLLOW UP -When you get someone’s card, be sure to follow up with them on the conversation you had at the event and mention any job leads you discussed. Also, connect with them on social media sites like twitter and Linkedin. Seek out successful, like-minded people. 

GOOD LUCK!

Anybody else have any suggestions or tips on networking? Please share!

D.C Networking – Learning to ‘Hustle’

 

Part 1

NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK, and then network some more! This was the advice given by a World Bank and Devex HR recruiter. I paid $65 for this advice- I thought this WAS a networking event. Turns out it was a power point presentation on everything I already knew.  I scanned the room and realized everyone was in the same boat- trying to claw their way into the most competitive field in the most competitive and overly educated city in the World. Except unlike me, people were diligently writing every word on a pad of paper. Whoever just wrote down the word ‘Network’ needs to return to whatever cubicle they came from –seriously, don’t quite your day job.

Having recently returned from an excursion in Latin America, an adventure that solidified my love for Spanish culture, reverse culture shock began to sink in.  Where am I? And what have I gotten myself into?

The next and last time I paid for an event was for the YNPNdc (Young Nonprofit Professionals Network) annual conference, recommended to me by a friend. This was an all-day event, and unlike the previous one, this event actually gave you multiple chances to network with people in the industry.  I gained insight into D.C’s nonprofit world, and soon realized there are A LOT of ‘do gooders’ here – great for the world, not so great for someone trying to get into the industry with no prior nonprofit experience.  The best message I took home from this event was, ‘It is NOT your job to save the World, and you cannot do it alone,’ said by a woman who burnt herself out working on woman’s choice initiatives. She said she could no longer work on issues that she’s most passionate about. This is definitely something to keep in mind for myself. I want to save the World from Climate Change or at least get people (and Congress) to OPEN THEIR eyes to the devastating effects. And of course I want to save the SE Asian Elephant, the Rainforest, Chimps everywhere, the Giraffes in Africa, the Orangutans in Indonesia, Pandas, the Tasmanian Devil, Dolphins, Whales…basically all endangered species on this planet. That’s not too much to ask or take on right?