To all my followers waiting to hear my Dear Child post’s conclusion, here it is.
For all those new to the story, a click back to Last E-mail will get you up to speed on the below content, and understand how I began fading fear and healing old wounds.
Dear Child,
3 Months Post Surgery
Burning Process Begins
2011 begins in heartache. After you lose the man you believe to be the only man for you, January also includes rush surgery due to a staff infection spreading over your chest and heart. Surgeons take 120 ml of puss (equivalent to ½ cup) out of your chest, leaving a hole the size of a cricket ball (or baseball) over your heart. You brave a smile for your friends — the first faces you see upon waking from anesthesia.
- The next three months are filled with treks to the post surgery ward of St. Vincent’s hospital every other day before work. Mornings include sitting in a line behind people with much worse wounds, some with severe burns and disfigured limbs. Seeing this makes you appreciate life and health.
- Nurses clean, stuff, and bandage the hole in your chest, they show no mercy as they perform their duties on your open flesh. During the final healing stages they’ll burn excess flesh off to allow “normal” healing. A painful reminder of the sadness you feel every day. You literally have a hole in your chest representing the hole you feel in your heart.
- You’re not ready to let go. Your dreams will get you through.
Your 2011 new years resolution, to ensure everyone important in your life knew how much you cared and appreciated them. After your surgery, this notion could not be more important to accomplish. During the hard times, you realized how strong your connections where in a country half way around the world from your homeland. You witness a family sprout, and decide to celebrate.
So your 25th turns into a celebration for your friends and family, all those who make you smile, especially for those who kept you happy in a very unhappy situation. You (with the help of your awesomely handsome A Series of Fortunate Events owner, Christopher McLaren) create a space for everyone to dance on the red carpet like stars– well pink carpet I should say. A cocktail style party, set with lights, hanging photos, umbrella cocktails, and large open space on your 3rd floor balcony of your Sydney apartment…oh ya, and it’s open bar!
Grad School Group
Representing Canada, US, Russia, Germany, India, Switzerland, Norway, and the Netherlands
You’re happy, refreshed, and sharing incredible moments with close friends and family.
Sydney Media Clan
Matt Young, Christopher McLaren and Me
Oh and as an added bonus, your fantastic group of grad school friends gave you a helicopter tour of Sydney!
Enjoy a couple beauties below…
The next year will bring many ups and downs, as you say “till next time” to your job, home and family in Australia, journey back to the other side of the world, stopping on Australia’s sunny west coast, Indonesia and later Central and South America, until you’re finally settled on the east coast. Here, you finally begin to fade fear and heal old wounds. You will begin again, and create freedom in your life –mind, body and soul.
So don’t cry in the corner dear child, your dreams do come true. You just have to remember it’s Ok to let go. You’ll discover more and you will flourish into a strong, beautifully intelligent butterfly that has families and knowledge spanning the globe. You are not alone, you are not trapped –you are free.
First picture in 3 months without a bandage
Happy 25th!
Dear Readers,
Here’s what I want you to get out of my story spanning 3 blog posts — the art of letting go. Obtaining the ability to allow yourself to be completely free — mind, body and soul. I mean real FREEDOM! Ensuring fear is not driving action. Not so easy in today’s world of deadlines, alarms, bills and competition, which sometimes feels like an endless mountain of obstacles and restraints.
I must admit, my journey to freedom is one that will encompass life long learning, as most things in life. But it was only a couple weeks ago, when I received the Last Email, that I was able to finally begin to let go and allow myself to discover new possibilities and new ways of thinking. I let go of the idea that I was in love and that there could only be one man for me, I let go of childhood traumas and promises, I let go of past mistakes and heartaches, I let go of a life that I no longer lived. I let go of everything I was holding onto in fear of losing.
An anvil was lifted off my shoulders, and a funny thing happened, my mind was more clear and my breath more stable. I began to open to new exciting adventures, to a realization that I was not losing the past but creating a future and cementing a lifestyle that will always allow me to be free…
But for all this to occur, I had to go through some things –a lot of things. But what I want you, the reader, to understand and embody is that sometimes trauma and heartache leads us to freedom and new discoveries, new and better paths.
Never stop believing you’ll get there and never stop dreaming…
Post Surgery
Anesthesia is still kicking
Remember to click back to Last Email and Dear Child to read the full story.
Don’t forget to follow along as I share my thoughts and give tips on freeing the mind, body and soul from past wounds to create a life without restraints or boundaries, but one that unfolds unlimited possibilities.
“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
― Mark Twain
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